Everyone wants to build a better mousetrap. And through the mousetrap, I mean bra. Selecting navigation is not better than finding a humanized mousetrap. Granted, although the mousetrap may actually be more humane than most bras.

So this terrible thing happened, and then another terrible thing happened: In December 2016, the doctor diagnosed that I had celiac disease and forced me into a gluten-free lifestyle. This means something, and it turns out that the least of these things is eating gluten-free bread. This means that my body slowly stops malnutrition, which means that I can eat with the weight and weight I have always had. Does this sound like a good thing? I did not do it on purpose.

Forty pounds – and many more weep – Later, I moved from a beautiful, well-balanced 36C to… Well, look, this is a tricky place. If I take my old spare, Victoria’s secret T-shirt bra, I’m 36DDD, but for some reason, fit my bra in the pink dressing room so that I don’t have two in real life but four Breasts, because these cups actually split each breast into two parts horizontally.

So I turned to the magical world of online corset style bra shopping and was attracted by ThirdLove’s promise: “You should be comfortable.” There is no shit, but so far this hasn’t happened. I tested for 60 seconds and ThirdLove told me 36E. A few weeks later, I opened the box – the third love did not leave trees when it was shipped, which made it feel a bit like underwear Christmas – and found a simple bra…

Not suitable. I replaced it with a larger size, a 36F, and then noticed the advertisement Knix on my Facebook feed. Knix has an 8-in-1 Evolution bra, a seamless bra that calls itself “the world’s most advanced bra.”

People, I will not waste your time, why each bra does not work. However, Knix encouraged me to put on my bra for 30 days before returning. This is what I did. During that time, I alternated between the terrible uniboob and the split chest.

Bra shopping is bad, but it turns out that the mail-order bra shopping more. By continuously ordering bras of different sizes, I immediately got satisfaction: I immediately got an unsuitable bra, but I had to wait at least one week to get one. When I ordered my reliable Victoria’s secret bra online, this would never happen – because I was already installed in real life by someone who knew what I was doing (read: not with a tape measure).

But the charm of finding the best corset style bra ever drew me: Kickstarter had a group of “you can wear the best bra” startup company begging you for money at any time. As we report on this, there are 117 bra startups on Kickstarter, of which Knix ranks first ($1.1 million). It is also worth noting that – many of these startup bra companies have felt … offended.

Take Trusst as an example. It is called “Wireless Engineering Support.” Wow, does this sound sexy enough? Do you know what is more sexy? Their video uses a variety of non-comprehensive visual euphemisms to describe the breast: Yau, the lights… You see.

Keep going – the situation is getting worse. Fitesse – Another female-owned Kickstarter underwear company – does not eat letter-sized fruit cups. As you said, you are not an A cup; you are a blueberry. It looks harmless until you reach the size of the big girl: honeydew, watermelon, coconut and pumpkin. As a person, I feel very respected. Hey, they can’t make me fit one of their custom bras. Obviously my breasts cannot be customized at all.

True & Co. told me – after a wide range of “appropriate quizzes” – they will not make bras on my size either. In essence, I did not pass the quiz. Awesome.

This is why many women cry out of department stores. This is why I don’t want to go back to the department store to find a bra. This is why I very much want to live in Jala Yoga Bra. I purchased IRL at The Body Electric. This is why I decided to be in the third love bra – they are not even my fourth or fifth love, but they are more suitable than anything else I have tried – despite the warning of a reader:

“I have purchased and worn the ThirdLove bra, not the best comfortable clothing, and will fall apart in less than six months. I can only wear it twice a week,” I asked CL followers about their mail order experience. At the time, Kristin Kelley emailed me a bra. Kelly said she had ordered a third love and, like me, really liked them – but the honeymoon was over. “I’m the same. I like the first one. There are still a few. They just didn’t cut it and washed the laundry several times comfortably. I usually wash my bra every two weeks and put it in a bag, cold water. About four months after hanging and hanging to dry, the wire began to puncture.

Within a month, my ThirdLove bra really began to cut into my body. I worry that these bras are coming to an end – and because I spent $68 on these bras, I’m not happy.