Don’t tell me conical bras are back in fashion

My mother always asked, ‘if they jump off a cliff, would you?’ And the answer is invariably yes. I’m a sheep, I admit it. And, it seems I’m not the only one as there is a contentious trend spreading like wildfire, burning bridges and sweeping up Instagram influencers in its wake. Officially, the brand behind the trend, Oresund Iris, like to call it a structured corset, I, however, am inclined to name it a ‘boob shelf’. It’s an anti-bra, a boob-less corset, an accessory for your t-shirt you never knew you needed. As bizarre as it is some of the trendy elite have been spinning it into a wardrobe staple. Thoughts?

One designer. Just one designer showed 1950s-inspired torpedo bras under some pieces. That does not a trend make. And it certainly doesn’t signal an era-shifting concept of the female form. After all, Madonna famously wore cone bustiers by Jean Paul Gaultier circa 1990, but we didn’t then see women walking down the street in them.

The designer in question here, Stella McCartney, presented conical bras under sheer tops or cone-shaped constructions sewn into knit tops, dresses and jumpsuits for her autumn-winter 2017 collection at Paris Fashion Week last month. If you can stomach intellectualising fashion, McCartney was making a statement about female empowerment and femininity. It would be tricky to draw extra attention to that part of your body and feel empowered, but we welcome you to try.

Lingerie brand What Katie Did not only offers a vast selection of bullet bras , it also provides a fitting guide. Find similar items at such sites as pinupgirlclothing.com and herroom.com. Start with the less dramatic cones then work your way up, if desired.

For something a little bit more up-to-date, try a gorgeous Fleur du Mal bullet bra in rose-pink or black silk satin, or black sheer tulle with stitched satin cups . Matching thong or hiphugger undies and garter belt are a must. It will take more than that, though, to make you look like Marilyn Monroe.

If I didn’t know better, I would say Olivia Perez (aka Bella Hadid’s BFF and founder of Friend of a Friend) was wearing space age vintage Pierre Cardin from the 60s. But, I do, and she’s actually modelling Oresund Iris’ boobless bra in white with a Misha Nonoo skirt and Dear Frances boots.

Sami Miro has not been cast in Stranger Things, but her outfit is straight-up upside down and back-to-front. For starters, is she wearing that Honda top the right way? Somehow, against all odds, she’s making it work.

Proof that this trend is not just for the fried egg-chested. Pulling an ironic move, Emily Ratajkowski showed feminists do wear corsets (even if its over, not under their clothes).

I don’t recommend wearing flip-flops in big cities at all. Full stop. It results in unsightly dirt on one’s toes and heels and it exposes one’s hooves to urban debris, such as broken glass, doggie doo-doo and Hong Kong’s mystery dripping liquids, not to mention the wrath of vengeful cart drivers.

That aside, of course I can recommend alternatives to Havaianas, the popular Brazilian flip-flops, but none that provide quite so many interesting variations. New to the market is Pagoda (pagodastore.com), whose flip-flops cost HK$250 per pair and are made with durable velvet, EVA (ethylenevinyl acetate) midsoles that promise to mould to one ’s foot, and rubber soles. Inspired by slippers found on a visit to Myanmar, they are
also splash- and stain-resistant but not made for splashing in the waves. Launched in 2009, Tkees remains a chic, relatively underexposed alternative in cowhide leather with rubber soles (HK$388 and up; tkees.com). The line has expanded to include rubber and EVA foam models in the same sleek design.

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